Dreams

Last night I dreamed that I was helping a co-worker walk her mom's five labradoodles and I lost one. The eerie part of the dream was her mom's house was actually my grandma's townhouse in McLean. It was weird being back in there and when I woke up this morning, I was overwhelmed with memories. After she passed away, the townhouse was left to my mom and my two aunts. At the time, I was the only grandchild living on my own locally. My mom offered to let me live in the townhouse rent free.

It was a very tempting offer and I have always thought back to my choice. Obviously, I choose to move to Indy and not to take the townhouse. The townhouse was sold and now its someone else's home. Sometimes I wonder what direction my life would have taken if I had opted to live there. I would have had a really long commute to a job that wasn't worth commuting that far. I would have been away from all my friends. The neighborhood was a little older and I would have had to respect those neighbors. My grandma lived there for 25 years! The other stipulation was that any cousin that moved back to the area could move in there. I love my cousins, but I'm not sure I would want to live with them. Also, all of the aunts would have had a key and been able to come over whenver they wanted to. But I would have had a beautiful home in a great location rent free. Would I have gone back to school? Would I have attempted to get an office job?

I don't know. I think that's what bothers to me to this day. I think I made the right choice. I love my life in Indy. I never would have met Chris (awwwwwww!). I never would have found the job that I have now. I would have never "settled down." I believe the pros outweigh the cons in my decision. However, that dream last night really rattled me up. It would have been nice to keep the house in the family. It would have been nice to somewhat OWN a place and not throw money away renting some dumpy apartment. Oh well, I don't believe in living life with regrets. I just sometimes wonder...